The Graveyard Machine Presents: Sad Dracula

Halloween 1997 could have been a potentially awesome year for me. It wasn’t. I was grounded.

My punishment was this: I could dress up but I couldn’t trick r’ treat. This was totally intolerable for such a sweet kid like me. I mean, all I did was stand up in Ms. Finches class and produce a beautiful anal crescendo that I had my friend T.J crying. Such joy is a gift.

I have never experienced such aggression in my lifetime. And I thought the winds from my thunder fart was hot! This grounding had scorched my debut of Dracula.

So I walked the streets of Homewood, Illinois in full Drac regalia, looking sad as shit in the year 1997 because I farted in grade school. What a stupid sentence.


Do not fall trap to my lame story of woe for I am inspired! Sad Dracula will become the new face of The Graveyard Machine. I will use Sad Dracula as a symbol of the past, present, and future of all things horror! Sad Dracula is here to remind us to enjoy the spooky side of life.

Sad Dracula Rising!

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